Weekend

Spent the weekend with my girly girl.

It was fantastic!

However, my weight has peaked. I say that because my out of control eating behavior has subsided and I know I'm going to drop a few pounds.

There's a magic number between 295-300 where I snore. My daughter doesn't really complain, my girlfriend on the other hand doesn't so much complain, but I know it bothers her.

I snored this weekend. I snored when we met and it stopped when I lost the 30# this year, but 20 pounds is back on. I hate that I snore. I hate that it hurts my throat, I hate that the only reason for it is my weight. It makes me mad. I can fight the other stuff. I can move my body. I work out, I pick up boxes of stuff and move things at work. I dance. I can counter all the fat stereotypes when I'm waking. When I sleep however, I can't do a thing about the snoring. I try to stay awake longer than her, hoping that once I won't wake her. I sleep with my face in the pillow hoping that face down is better than face up...it's just not restful.

Not to mention being with her isn't restful. I'm yawning as I type. Since we only get together once a month or so, it's almost like being new again the first night, that excited energy. The second night I know we are parting in the morning so I cling to every second, every piece of contact I can knowingly make. I really do prefer 3 nights or more. The third night I can find comfort and rest.

I told her I am 99.9% sure I'm going forward with the band. It was nice, her support.

We were walking out of a restaurant, I noticed a camera facing our car, I suggested we give a little show, kissy-kissy, for the viewing pleasure of who ever was watching. My girl is modest. Laughing I asked how she felt about being with and exhibitionist, (not really). She said, "When you lose weight I'm worried, because I know that's the only thing keeping you from performing."
She is so right.

The best part of that statement, was "when" not "if". She's on the same page as me. Bless her heart. Actually bless everyone I've told. There's been nothing but encouragement and understanding from my mom to my friends to a select few coworkers. My people are fabulous.

Reading posts on the yahoo group, taking it all in, not posting anything. Just gathering information.