Have you ever kicked your own ass? Actually I was just writing on the LBT forum about the fact that I committed to losing weight January 1st, 2007 and I had lost 23 pound before surgery because I wanted to be 100% successful.
It's true. I did that. I thought that. I believed that.
My mantra was, "Eating like that won't get me to the goal I want." I thought that as I walked away from cakes, cookies, barbecued ribs. I politely excused myself from sweetly offered lunches out with the fellas. (In one of the nicest offers to grab lunch a maintenance man I work with asked me to join the guys for Tuesday wings. I said "no thanks".)
Today I ate like shit. I had corn chips and chicken nuggets. I ate some of a candy bar. I had a bagel with peanut butter. I didn't eat in a way that is aligned with getting me to my goals.
I lost sight of what it is I'm supposed to be doing with myself right now. For those of you not privy to the Strategic Plan of my life. 05-09 is about losing weight and getting my undergrad and graduate degrees. Also raising my kid, loving my SO who is in an adjoining state and working full time. There's being a president of a board and other commitments too. But really it's about living the life that I designed, not one that was pieced together from the remnits, left over from a unfocused childhood.
So in the process of dooling out solicited advice, I caught wind myself of my own words. I need to get my mantra back. I need to make the choices that get me to where I want to be. And low, I do believe I shall.
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