Have you ever kicked your own ass? Actually I was just writing on the LBT forum about the fact that I committed to losing weight January 1st, 2007 and I had lost 23 pound before surgery because I wanted to be 100% successful.
It's true. I did that. I thought that. I believed that.
My mantra was, "Eating like that won't get me to the goal I want." I thought that as I walked away from cakes, cookies, barbecued ribs. I politely excused myself from sweetly offered lunches out with the fellas. (In one of the nicest offers to grab lunch a maintenance man I work with asked me to join the guys for Tuesday wings. I said "no thanks".)
Today I ate like shit. I had corn chips and chicken nuggets. I ate some of a candy bar. I had a bagel with peanut butter. I didn't eat in a way that is aligned with getting me to my goals.
I lost sight of what it is I'm supposed to be doing with myself right now. For those of you not privy to the Strategic Plan of my life. 05-09 is about losing weight and getting my undergrad and graduate degrees. Also raising my kid, loving my SO who is in an adjoining state and working full time. There's being a president of a board and other commitments too. But really it's about living the life that I designed, not one that was pieced together from the remnits, left over from a unfocused childhood.
So in the process of dooling out solicited advice, I caught wind myself of my own words. I need to get my mantra back. I need to make the choices that get me to where I want to be. And low, I do believe I shall.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Drunk Dial
Is it a "Drunk Dial" if everything is cool between you and your sweetie but she's calling you a bit tipsy?
Seems the SO is on a business trip and had a few martinis and the urge to chat. "Hello."
I'm amused. She delights me to no end.
Okay, about the damn band. Actually, the band is fantastic, but I need a fill. I was hoping to be the UBER rock star bandster and do this with few fills. I guess going for fill #2 at nearly 9 months out is few fills, huh?
My weight has slowed to about 5 pounds a month. I was so used to 10 pounds a month. Reason tells me that rate wasn't going to last, but damn it a girl had some expectations!
But when spring gets here I see me hitting the bike hard again. And there is, dare I write it down, so I commit, a 5K I'm shooting for in February. AP is going to run with me. We've become workout buddies. She finds me inspirational and I think she's pretty damn cool. We do Aron's kick ass workout twice a week and our own stuff other days. Yesterday we did it side by side and it was so much more encouraging. I'm giving her nutrition advice, not that I have the credentials, but hell, I'm a professional dieter. Oh and I do feed people so I know a little.
Thanksgiving is coming and I'm not stressed about what I'm going to eat or not eat. That's freakin' unreal. I'm excited to be cooking for the family. It's been a long time since I've entertained and I miss it so much.
The house is getting nicer and nicer, I'm about ready to start hosting dinner parties again. Well, when there's time...But I'm going to make it happen. I really love it.
Over and Out.
Seems the SO is on a business trip and had a few martinis and the urge to chat. "Hello."
I'm amused. She delights me to no end.
Okay, about the damn band. Actually, the band is fantastic, but I need a fill. I was hoping to be the UBER rock star bandster and do this with few fills. I guess going for fill #2 at nearly 9 months out is few fills, huh?
My weight has slowed to about 5 pounds a month. I was so used to 10 pounds a month. Reason tells me that rate wasn't going to last, but damn it a girl had some expectations!
But when spring gets here I see me hitting the bike hard again. And there is, dare I write it down, so I commit, a 5K I'm shooting for in February. AP is going to run with me. We've become workout buddies. She finds me inspirational and I think she's pretty damn cool. We do Aron's kick ass workout twice a week and our own stuff other days. Yesterday we did it side by side and it was so much more encouraging. I'm giving her nutrition advice, not that I have the credentials, but hell, I'm a professional dieter. Oh and I do feed people so I know a little.
Thanksgiving is coming and I'm not stressed about what I'm going to eat or not eat. That's freakin' unreal. I'm excited to be cooking for the family. It's been a long time since I've entertained and I miss it so much.
The house is getting nicer and nicer, I'm about ready to start hosting dinner parties again. Well, when there's time...But I'm going to make it happen. I really love it.
Over and Out.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Between Classes
I know this is about my weight loss, but really it's about my life and my life right now is very much about school and weight loss.
I've got one more class before I start graduate school. No, I don't have a BS, or a BA, but I am enrolled in an accelerated under + grad program at the local business college. Come August of 09 I'll have my MBA and a degree in Business Management. I've been at this for nearly 3 years solid. 20 months to go.
Anyway, this weekend has me between the last class and starting the next one. It's an unsettling feeling. I was very busy the last two weeks, that culminated in a few very large papers. And now I have the lull where I'm worried about what it is I will be learning next. I do well, I will do well but I'm disquieted.
Learned to put inner tubes on my road bike today. God love Miss J and her willingness to do anything bicycling related, like lessons in November in my cobweb decorated basement.
I did get a BodyBugg, which is a calorie counting device that I wear all the time. I log my calories consumed at the same site and get a comparison about what kind of deficit I'm hopefully running at. Way cool.
The weekend was filled with friends and cooking, two things I don't spend much time on these days. Being between classes there was time in the schedule and that's a wonderful thing.
I've got one more class before I start graduate school. No, I don't have a BS, or a BA, but I am enrolled in an accelerated under + grad program at the local business college. Come August of 09 I'll have my MBA and a degree in Business Management. I've been at this for nearly 3 years solid. 20 months to go.
Anyway, this weekend has me between the last class and starting the next one. It's an unsettling feeling. I was very busy the last two weeks, that culminated in a few very large papers. And now I have the lull where I'm worried about what it is I will be learning next. I do well, I will do well but I'm disquieted.
Learned to put inner tubes on my road bike today. God love Miss J and her willingness to do anything bicycling related, like lessons in November in my cobweb decorated basement.
I did get a BodyBugg, which is a calorie counting device that I wear all the time. I log my calories consumed at the same site and get a comparison about what kind of deficit I'm hopefully running at. Way cool.
The weekend was filled with friends and cooking, two things I don't spend much time on these days. Being between classes there was time in the schedule and that's a wonderful thing.
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