December's just whizzing by

It's nearly Christmas and I've not bought much for my kid. I've made gifts, necklaces and jerky. I'll be making fudge too, because I can't seem to have enough shit food around me right now. Okay, maybe I'll go back to spiced nuts....but that's not the point of this post. The point is I've been busy, I'm eating poorly, I'm a wee bit stressed about money (more so than usual) and I want those things to change. I don't want to be so busy, and come January2nd I'll be good. The food thing is a out of control. It's not just that I work around food, but it's the socializing too. I don't even have lots of that to do...just a little and I still can't keep from eating a piece of the cake though it's small...I know I don't like the icing and the cake is dry..I made the damn thing (it was beautiful however). I still ate it. I started breakfast with cookies and biscuits and gravy. I had some weird pork byproduct for lunch...at least dinner wasn't a complete shame. I did get broccoli down though it was flooded in light ranch dressing.
I'm typing/writing in a manner that doesn't suit me either. Typically I'm a many brief paragraph writer...not this fucked up stream of consciencousness. I worry that work is going to read what I write and nail me for profanity. But I also know that I'm allowed to write what I want, especially if I'm not at work and it's not about work...but I worry. I worry about future employers reading my archaic blogs and seeing that I'm less than. Less than what I don't know, but less than the person they want to hire for hundred grand a year. Oh, and yeah, that's my benchmark. I want to make that before turning 45. I'll be forty in April and won't have my MBA until I'm 41, but I think it's a reasonable goal. Perhaps a stretch but so is running a half marathon and I think I'll do that in 2008 as well. I'm shooting for a 5K in February, maybe a 10K in the summer, so I think I should be able to do a half marathon in the fall. So long as injury doesn't get in my way.
Whew...........I need to get to bed. I'm going to have to edit this post too at a later date because leaving it like this makes me uneasy.

Night.