HOLIDAZE

Not original I know.

I think I'm waking from the food coma I've been in. Well, nearly. Today was good until I got home and ate enough for two people. Really, I say that but I don't eat half of what I used to.

The happiest news is that I am now sporting size 18 jeans. I'm a happy girl. I was in 18's when I graduated from high school. I don't know what I'm going to think when I get into 10's or smaller. I'll be beside myself. There hasn't been a time in my adult life when I was a 10 or smaller. It will happen though. It will.

:)

December's just whizzing by

It's nearly Christmas and I've not bought much for my kid. I've made gifts, necklaces and jerky. I'll be making fudge too, because I can't seem to have enough shit food around me right now. Okay, maybe I'll go back to spiced nuts....but that's not the point of this post. The point is I've been busy, I'm eating poorly, I'm a wee bit stressed about money (more so than usual) and I want those things to change. I don't want to be so busy, and come January2nd I'll be good. The food thing is a out of control. It's not just that I work around food, but it's the socializing too. I don't even have lots of that to do...just a little and I still can't keep from eating a piece of the cake though it's small...I know I don't like the icing and the cake is dry..I made the damn thing (it was beautiful however). I still ate it. I started breakfast with cookies and biscuits and gravy. I had some weird pork byproduct for lunch...at least dinner wasn't a complete shame. I did get broccoli down though it was flooded in light ranch dressing.
I'm typing/writing in a manner that doesn't suit me either. Typically I'm a many brief paragraph writer...not this fucked up stream of consciencousness. I worry that work is going to read what I write and nail me for profanity. But I also know that I'm allowed to write what I want, especially if I'm not at work and it's not about work...but I worry. I worry about future employers reading my archaic blogs and seeing that I'm less than. Less than what I don't know, but less than the person they want to hire for hundred grand a year. Oh, and yeah, that's my benchmark. I want to make that before turning 45. I'll be forty in April and won't have my MBA until I'm 41, but I think it's a reasonable goal. Perhaps a stretch but so is running a half marathon and I think I'll do that in 2008 as well. I'm shooting for a 5K in February, maybe a 10K in the summer, so I think I should be able to do a half marathon in the fall. So long as injury doesn't get in my way.
Whew...........I need to get to bed. I'm going to have to edit this post too at a later date because leaving it like this makes me uneasy.

Night.

High School Boys

I get coworkers giving me props all the time...but yesterday was the best one yet. I work at the state Deaf school. A high school boy who was hit by some real personal tragedy this year (brother committed suicide) has been walking around with his head bowed and really not communicating much. Well, yesterday he stopped me when no one was looking to say, "Noticed you've lost a lot weight, you look really great."
I said, "Wow, thanks. I've been working hard."
He said, "Great job" and "keep it up!” I got a huge smile from him too.

You know most kids are pretty self absorbed. I’ve had one chubby girl ask me what I was doing. I’ve had one sweetheart girl give me a huge hug and wow. I’ve had two gay boys, essentially say, “look at you!” But this boy has more reason than most not to be bothered with adults like me...so it just took me by surprise. His encouragement was so meaningful too.

I’m really awestruck at how much people are cheering me on.